Life

My little brother is sitting on a cot on the floor of my apartment with his hair in pigtails, drawing a picture of a manga fairy. It's moments like these that make my chest hurt, thinking about how short life is, about the horrible crushing passing of time, how soon he'll be in high school and too cool for his big sis, and then maybe far away for college, and I miss him so much now and still see him every weekend, and what if he moves away and I never get to see him.

Grandpa Frank's funeral was today. It was awful. The gun salute and Taps outside in the pouring rain...I don't think I've ever cried that hard in my whole life. I can't think of a time.

It's so strange, this life thing. I don't understand it, it terrifies me.